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The Tattle of Hastings — Masterful monikers are beautiful things

The Tattle of Hastings — Masterful monikers are beautiful things

KTW sports reporter Marty Hastings

KTW sports reporter Marty Hastings

Don Levasseur had a pep in his step that morning and I couldn’t figure out why — until I looked at his hair.
The KTW ad salesman was rocking a fresh cut — and the only thing louder than his shirt was the volume in his mane.
There was a certain poof to it.
Donny Volume.
The nickname stuck.
Oh great, Marty, another column in your sports section that has nothing to do with sports, you jackass.
Wrong.
Nicknames are such a beautiful part of athletics.
Yes, there are downsides, when bullying is involved and the anointed player isn’t thrilled with his new moniker, but I’d like to focus, in our brief time together here today, on the good side — the galvanizing side.
Donny Volume and I are by no means best pals, but our friendship is on the rise and I can’t help but think it has something to do with that fateful day when he had to duck to get through the front door.
I found out he could take a joke and, boy, I hope he handles this column OK.
We learned we had similar senses of humour and the office members I usually communicate with — which is likely about 33 per cent of the KTW population — seemed to think it was funny.
We bonded over the volume in Don’s hair.
Stupid, right?
Well, in my years playing sports, high-end handles have always been a source of amusement for the boys.
They can bring together a dressing room.
They can gel together (Donny likely uses mousse) a workplace.
No, they’re not imperative to the success of a team or anything like that, but they’ve brought so much joy to my life and I know I’m not alone.
I’d love to hear the best sports nicknames Kamloops has to offer and even publish a few of them below next week’s edition of this piffle.
Send your favourites, even the dirty ones, to sports@kamloopsthisweek.com.
The offside sobriquets will be sewered before they see these pages, but I’d like to have a look anyway.
If they need a short explanation, go ahead and include it.
Nicknames aren’t dead — just attend one Kamloops Rugby Club practice. You might run into Twinky, Jughead, Lunch Box (I don’t think he plays anymore, but it’s a personal favourite), Dirty Old Pirate, Casper or Shrek.
I’ve heard the argument that kids these days lack creativity. I don’t buy it. Prove me right with an email, young ones.
Levasseur has another nickname: Deadline Don.
That one might border on bullying, but if he would stop selling ads two minutes before deadline, wreaking havoc with the editorial staff’s sections, which have to be altered when he sells late ads, then I wouldn’t bring it up, would I, Donald!

The Tattle of Hastings will appear in KTW on Thursdays. Email Marty Hastings at sports@kamloopsthisweek.com

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