You may be surprised to hear this, but I am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. When I tell people that, they are typically shocked considering I am a Matchmaker. My feelings around Valentine’s Day go back many years to when I was in elementary school. I remember how we would all make cute crafty pouches with hearts, lace, and sparkles, put our names on them, and line them up at the front of the class in anticipation of Valentine’s Day when we could open them and read all the cute little cards from our classmates. I will never forget watching all the kids emptying out their full pouches of 30 or so cards and then looking over and seeing a few kids with 2 or 3 cards and seeing the look of humiliation on their faces. I am guessing that if I remember this happening to those kids that they no doubt have remembered it as well and were more traumatized by it given it happened to them. I can only hope that those kids are now successful, happy, and loved. I also think that schools have become more inclusive now and have a rule in place where every child in the classroom gets a card. I think it should be all or none. Then again, I can’t help but wonder why little kids in elementary school need to be sending messages of love and desire to each other. I also think Valentine’s Day causes more arguments between married couples than people realize. Someone may have not lived up to the expectation of the other person or they end up comparing themselves to other couples who are posting their Valentine’s gifts on social media. I also can’t help but notice the majority of marketing messages during February are geared to men reminding them to not forget their wife on Valentine’s Day. There are images of flowers, chocolate, jewelery popping up to them daily. I am certainly not against gestures of love and surprising someone with treats, but why is all the pressure on the men? Wouldn’t it be nice to sweep a man off his feet with a thoughtful gift as well? I also think romantic surprises can be given on any day of the year.
For single people on Valentine’s Day, this day can be a tough one. It shouldn’t be, but being continually reminded of all of the so called happy couples enjoying this day of love can no doubt cause some anxiety and depression for those who don’t have a partner. I just hope those folks could have a sneak peek into the majority of married people and what they are really doing on February 14th. For many it’s the same thing they were doing on February 13th.
One group of people that I think would have a tough time on Valentine’s Day are the men and women who have been widowed after many years of marriage and they are now missing that spouse. Many of those special days are going to be tough to face like birthdays, Christmas, and anniversaries, but Valentine’s Day has so much focus on couples and love that it’s only natural to feel grief at this time.
The history of Valentine’s Day certainly is romantic but also tragic. Valentine was a priest in the 3rd Century A.D. and Emperor Claudius the 2nd had banned marriage because he felt married men were bad soldiers. Valentine felt this was unfair so he broke the rules and secretly performed marriages. When Claudius found out, Valentine was thrown in jail and sentenced to death. There he fell in love with the jailer’s daughter and when he was taken to be killed on the 14th of February, he sent her a love letter saying ‘From your Valentine.’
I am not a total party pooper when it comes to Valentine’s Day and romance, but I do think a lot about people on their own. If you fall into that category this year, here are some ideas for you for Valentine’s Day:
1. Invite some other single friends over and have a potluck dinner and game night.
2. Valentine’s Day is a Friday night so grab a friend or family member and treat them to a movie.
3. There is also a Blazers game on Valentine’s Day this year so get a ticket and enjoy the game.
4. Go to the gym. You will see many other people there and realize that Valentine’s Day can be just another day for many.
5. Bake something fun. Then take those cookies or pretty cake and surprise someone with it.
6. Have your grandkids over for dinner and a sleepover.
7. Surprise someone with flowers.
8. Volunteer. It’s the most rewarding thing you can do and it’s impossible to feel sad when you help others.
9. Pamper yourself. Get a massage, or a haircut. A little self-care can go a long way.
10. Get an early start on Spring Cleaning. De-clutter and Donate.
11. Lastly, you can do what I do every Friday night. Have a Date night with Keith Morrison and settle in for an episode of Dateline. I can tell you that those love stories never end well!
Speaking of Love Stories, if you would like to create a new love story for yourself, contact me, and I would be happy to go for coffee with you on Valentine’s Day or any day. It’s never too late to bring a new friend or romantic partner into your life. I can help you do that and I would love to learn more about you too. Valentine’s Day is only one day. This year is Leap Year. There are 366 days in 2020—an extra day for love. There is no obligation, or expectation to use my Matchmaking service. I will also treat you to coffee. You can tell me about your past Valentine, and I can tell you about your future Valentine. Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or on my website holmesiswheretheheartis.ca